The Good Teacher

from Andy Croft

It's Tuesday morning so I suppose Mr. "Dickhead" Morgan will be reading from last week's homework. I wonder what he'll call me this week? Useless, bone idle time waster or worse. Maybe John the Swot will have made a muck up and get it in the neck instead. Some hope. Oh here he comes now. All pompous and full of himself. It's a wonder he can get his head though the door.

"Ottley, get rid of that gum. Smith, Watson put that magazine down this instant!"

Oh Gawd. He's worse than usual. His Missus must have let him visit or something.

"Some of you have been playing games in the car park. THIS will cease. I do not want to see any of you near the cars, especially my new Cherry."

So that's why he's so full of himself! Japanese junk.

"Is that clear?"

Perfectly dear teacher. You're scared that if it gets scratched your Missus will beat you to death by the ears. It was a laugh what Maggie said when she came back after fainting and he had taken her home in his car with his Missus in the back seat. She nearly choked to death holding back the laughter, all his piss and importance turning into meek submission. I'd have loved to see it.

"Last week's homework on space. John Darron (the Swot) excellent. A fine example to you all. I shall be putting it up on the wall so that you can all read it. The rest of you all gave stories that were just about good enough for your exams. However, (Oh hell here it comes,) one of you couldn't even be bothered to get his name right. (Shit!!) Perhaps one of you with a dictionary could find these words I'm copying onto the board and tell us what they mean."

PARESEC ENOUFF GAYN FEER NOLAGE REROTE PAYPER

"Anyone found them yet?"

I wonder what his Missus would do if the headlamps were smashed?

"Doesn't anyone know what these words mean? Come now, someone must. After all I copied them out of a story. (Bastard!) I don't know what it was about; I couldn't understand it. Perhaps it was scrawled in some secret language that only aliens can understand."

Dickhead's really got in for me today. Maybe more than just his headlamps. It's obvious what the words mean all he has to do is to read them out and listen to what he's said. I can never get the words down on paper right no matter how hard I try. Three times I rewrote that before bringing it in. Eight hours fighting with the stupid dictionary and that fat bastard pretends he can't understand it. I'm glad that bastard doesn't know I was crying over that, trying to get it right.

Saved! Crafty at the door with some lady quite a looker. Wonder if she likes younger men?

"Mr. Morgan this is Miss James, the new Educational Psychologist. She's come to see if you have any students with problems in learning, particularly with reading and writing."

HEY, that's me! Dolly bird, here I come.

"Why no Mr. Isaacs, none of my class have any problems, other than laziness and not paying enough attention."

The STUPID BASTARD!! I've got a problem and he knows it. No wonder that the other teachers call him Dickhead the same as us kids.

"Mr, er, Morgan? What are the words on the board for with strange spellings?"

She's bright as well as beautiful! Go get 'im lady.

"They are just words that I copied out of some homework one of the boys was too lazy to do properly. I was just asking the others if they could understand them. It's good encouragement for the boy to get down to working properly instead of being lazy."

"You have heard of Specific Learning Difficulties haven't you? You are aware of the requirements of the 1981 Education Act aren't you? WHY hasn't this child been referred to me? He has the classic symptoms as indicated in the last month's news letter."

"Bub, bub, but . . ."

Yee - har! Go to it lady!

"Mr. Morgan I know you don't believe in dyslex - Specific Learning Difficulties. But I told you to tell me if any of your students have problems. How long has this been going on? I'll see you in my office at 2 o'clock. (Phew!) All right, who wrote this - hand up."

Swallow, DON'T cry, hand up. "Me Sir. Graham Hardcastle Sir."

"Mr. Isaacs, I'd like to take him up to the spare office for an initial test if I may."

"By all means Miss James. Graham, go with Miss James now and come and see me after please. The rest of you think before you start talking about what's happened here this morning. I'll not stand for rumours. Mr. Morgan, think about your old ideas before coming to see me."

Do you know what that delectable creature did with me? She gave me some test called "Aston" and some others. Some dead strange like these little blocks with holes in one side and different textures inside that you have to pair up just using your finger tips. Getting me to copy wonky lines on paper. At the end of it all she said I was dyslexic, but she's not allowed to use that word so she has to say that I've a Specific Learning Difficulty with writing. The biggest laugh is that my reading age is actually higher than most of my teachers. It's brill, I'm going to have special tuition one and a half hours a week with her, and after about 6 months she reckons I'll be pretty good. She's going to get me special dispensation in next month's "mocks" and maybe in the real ones later.

There are other kids with problems like me - some can write well but can hardly read. Don't understand that. Still it's nice to know that I'm not the only one.

Dickhead was with Crafty for about 2 hours. Ruth said he looked shaken when he came out. He's been very quiet ever since. There's a rumour that he may take early retirement. Good riddance.

For further information including where to find your local dyslexia group and/or assessor please contact: British Dyslexia Group, 98 London Road, Reading RG1 5AU If you have enjoyed this story, please make a donation either to your local dyslexia association or to the BDA above.